I was trying to tidy up the masses of images on my computer the other day and I came across this photo from the Jelly Bean wedding conference in London, where I was a speaker back in 2018.
It was so amazing to share a stage with awesome wedding professionals, including my friend, the unstoppable force that is Nova Reid from Nu Bride, whose diversity talk had us all in tears! Anyway, that’s a story for another day!
One of the other talks that I was really mesmerised by, was that of successful husband and wife photographer team, Lina and Tom. Everything they said about finding yourself as a business owner was spot on, but it was their presentation slide which said, ‘if you never say ‘no’, what is your ‘yes’ worth?’ that really made an impact.
I tell you, it was like a lightbulb moment for me, which triggered so much thought around that one powerful question, even until now.
If you never say no, what is your yes worth?
For me, this question breaks down into one core sentiment and that is – BOUNDARIES.
Why boundaries are important
We have to give ourselves boundaries as celebrants, in order to be in harmony with our business and our work.
It’s about learning what your boundaries are as a celebrant and business owner and understanding how to apply them to all that you do.
If you don’t have boundaries you can’t protect yourself or stop yourself from being in situations or positions that you don’t want to be in.
Without boundaries, you’ll say yes to every couple. Even those who aren’t right for you.
Without boundaries, you’ll say yes to every request, even the ones you don’t fully like the sound of.
Without boundaries, you’ll say yes to things that inconvenience you.
Without boundaries, you’ll say yes to things you’re not comfortable with.
Without boundaries, you’ll say yes to things that don’t suit you.
Without boundaries, you’ll say yes to things that don’t make you happy.
Without boundaries, you’ll say yes to helping people, even when you shouldn’t or can’t.
Without boundaries, you’ll say yes to working all hours, and neglect taking care of yourself.
Without boundaries, you’ll say yes even though deep down your gut says no.
And so this is what happens when you never say no, it devalues the times that you say yes and truly mean yes.
It’s okay to say no
If you don’t know it already, you need to be okay with saying no, whenever you feel like it.
No doesn’t mean you’re being rude, entitled or aggressive. No just means no thank you, it’s not for me. No thank you, I’ll pass on this one. No thank you, I’m unavailable. No thank you, I’m busy. No thank you, I don’t want to right now. No thank you, it doesn’t interest me.
No, in fact, is a complete sentence all by itself.
Saying ‘no’ is your way of protecting your interests, defining your boundaries and embracing the fact that you made the right decision for you and your business.
So next time you’re feeling pressure to say yes to something that you really don’t want to do, or don’t like the sound of, or are not interested in, remember your boundaries.
Remember your value, remember your worth and remember to reserve your ‘yesses’ for all the things you’re aligned with and happy about.
Sometimes it isn’t easy to say no, but it’s worth it in the long run, when you can live happily and positively in the value of your yes.
Ps: If you’d like to explore your boundaries further or set yourself up with an awesome business strategy to keep you strong and laser-focused for the year, then my two hour power session might just be for you. My most recent January client had this to say,
“Thank you so much for a really productive and insightful two hours this morning. I got so much from our session. Lots of ideas, tips, insights and a kick! I am getting myself armed for the next stage of business growth and am really looking forward to putting your ideas into practice. Onwards and upwards.”
You can find out more here.